Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town (1970 TV Movie)
Paul Frees: Burgermeister Meisterburger, Grimsley, Soldiers, Townsmen, Doctor
Burgermeister Meisterburger : I hate toys! And toys hate me! Either they are going or I am going! And I am certainly not going, Grimsley.
[the "World News" report from Movie News: "Children Prepare for Santa"]
Newscaster : [first lines; reporting] Today, children everywhere are making preparations for an event of world shaking significance: the annual visit of Santa Claus. Informed sources report that legions of junior citizens are making monumental efforts not to cry and not to pout. Meanwhile, letters by the thousands have been flooding postal facilities at the North Pole.
Burgermeister Meisterburger : Stop! In the name of the law! You brats are under arrest! Take them away.
Kris : Don't arrest those children. It was my fault. I gave them the toys.
Burgermeister Meisterburger : You? How dare you! You are obviously a nonconformist and a rebel!
Kris : Me? Rebel?
Burgermeister Meisterburger : Arrest this man immediately!
Kris : [pulls out a toy] For you.
Burgermeister Meisterburger : [sputters] A yo-yo? I love yo-yos! I used to be able to do all kinds of tricks! Ooh wheeeeeeeeee! Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
[plays with the yo-yo]
Grimsley : Excuse me, sir, but you're breaking your own laws.
Burgermeister Meisterburger : What? What are you saying?
Burgermeister Meisterburger : Ooohh, I have been bamboozled! Arrest him! Arrest him!
Burgermeister Meisterburger : Toys are hereby declared illegal, immoral, unlawful AND anyone found with a toy in his possession will be placed under arrest and thrown in the dungeon!
Grimsley : Herr Burgermeister! Herr Burgermeister! Look what was discovered on your front stoop.
Burgermeister Meisterburger : What? What, Grimsley? The milk? The daily paper?
Grimsley : No, sir, a baby.
Burgermeister Meisterburger : Oh, is that all?
[gasps and chokes]
Burgermeister Meisterburger : A *baby*?
Grimsley : And there's a note: "Please, sir, take care of my child and protect him from the dangers of the Mountain of the Whispering Winds. He will be exceptional if only given the love he needs."
Burgermeister Meisterburger : I, Burgermeister Meisterburger, take care of a baby? Outrageous! What's his name?
Grimsley : This is the only clue, sir. It says, "Claus".
Burgermeister Meisterburger : Ah, take the little, uh, baggage to the orphan asylum. That's the proper place for foundlings anyway.
[the baby cries]
Burgermeister Meisterburger : [shouting] GET THAT BRAT OUT OF HERE!
Jessica : Oh, Mr. Warlock!
Winter : Uh, Winter, please.
Jessica : You must help me stop Kris. Please, use your magic.
Winter : Oh... alas, I've been... disenchanted. I have no more powers. I can't even do card tricks.
Jessica : Oh! That's terrible! What shall we do?
Grimsley : Nobody is going to do anything! You are all under arrest for defying the law and making toys! And for being an accomplice to Public Enemy Number One: Kris Kringle!
Burgermeister Meisterburger : This is outrageous! Toys! Toys everywhere! What sort of criminal is this Kringle, sneaking into houses at night? I hereby decree that all the town's doors and windows be locked tight against this prowler!
Grimsley : His honor, Burgermeister Meisterburger!
Burgermeister Meisterburger : [singing] It's a difficult responsibility / That you accept from the number one lawmaker, me / Have it known throughout the land from sea to sea / There'll be no more toymakers to the king.
Jessica : Herr Burgermeister, please, you must set Kris and the little Kringles free.
Burgermeister Meisterburger : [laughing] Set them free? Never!
Jessica : I promise they'll never disturb you again.
Burgermeister Meisterburger : Bah! What good are your promises? Good-bye, good luck, and good riddance.
Doctor : As I've suspected, you've broken your funny bone!