My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988) Poster

Peter Bromilow: Second in Command


  • [Celeste consults with the alien council] 

    Celeste Martin : The subject says he will be unable to think about science unless he marries me.

    Council Chief : Well, marry him.

    Celeste Martin : But we don't know what "marry" is.

    Council Chief : One moment.

    [the second council member takes a book. He and the council chief leaf through it until they find the page about marriage] 

    Council Chief : Ah, yes. The Monchine Forty says marriage is this: he goes off to fight the Turks, and you put on a lock.

    [Celeste is confused] 

    Second in Command : No, no, no.

    [they leaf more pages] 

    Council Chief : Oh, yes, yes. Wrong century. Eh... marriage is this: you cook and clean and bring him martinies.

    Second in Command : No, no!

    Council Chief : Wrong again? Ridiculous...

    [they leaf more pages] 

    Council Chief : Yes. Wrong decade. Too old-fashioned. Ah, here we are, yes. The modren marriage: there are no rules or responsibilities, but if he does something wrong, you can set him on fire while he sleeps and go on a talk show, where everyone will forgive you and love you. There is only one drawback: you will have to have more sex.

    Celeste Martin : [excitedly]  I'll do it!

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