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Home Movies (TV Series 1999–2004) Poster

(1999–2004)

Quotes

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[to the pharmacist]

Paula Small: I need to refill this prescription. It's for my anxiety disorder and, uh, it's working nicely 'cause, uh... I wouldn't be able to approach you otherwise.

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Paula Small: What were you saying?

Brendon: Can we move the flowers?

Paula Small: Before that.

Brendon: This meatloaf is dry.

Paula Small: Before that.

Brendon: This is *meatloaf*?

Paula Small: Before that.

Brendon: This fish is dry.

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Paula Small: I'm getting a raise!

Brendon: That's great!

Paula Small: Well, I'm going to ask for a raise.

Brendon: Well, that's, um... practically great!

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Jason: People hate me!

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Brendon: Coach, do you think I'm stupid?

Coach McGuirk: Of course you're stupid, Brendon, all kids are stupid.

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Melissa Robbins: You'll have to wear glasses and people will make fun of you for the rest of your life, they'll call you four eyes and idiot!

Jason: Then forget the glasses. I just won't read anymore.

Melissa Robbins: Then they'll just call you idiot.

Jason: Okay, how about laser surgery?

Melissa Robbins: Well, that's fine if you don't mind growing an extra arm...

Jason: I don't mind; it will help...

Melissa Robbins: ...Out of your eye!

Jason: Oh my god!

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Coach McGuirk: Liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before liquor, throw up quicker.

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Coach McGuirk: Per day, I would say I hate far more than I feel like I like something. I like my western omelet, but while I'm eating that there's about 17 other things that I hate, like my apartment, my breath, whatever's on the TV, whatever's in the paper. Then I walk outside and it'll be a nice day. Well that's great that's a good feeling for a split second and then I realize I hate my neighborhood, because I... you apparently can't play music after 6:00 pm... in this country

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Paula Small: Would you mind setting the table? Dinner's going to be ready soon.

Brendon: Can I do it after dinner?

Paula Small: Sure.

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Melissa Robbins: Listen to me, junior, when I'm finished with you, you'll be the envy of all the idiots on your block.

Jason: Wow. There are a lot of idiots on my block.

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Brendon: [discussing his dad's new girlfriend] I dunno, Coach, I just don't like her.

Coach McGuirk: Why, she ugly or something?

Brendon: Oh, no! No, not at all! In fact, she's gorgeous!

Coach McGuirk: Really?

Brendon: Yeah, she could be like in a magazine or something!

Coach McGuirk: [intrigued] What, like a DIRTY mag?

Brendon: Uh, no. More like one of those model magazines.

Coach McGuirk: [disappointed] Oh.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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