My Wife and Kids (2001–2005)
24 Sep. 2003From Dummy to Daddy
Junior drops the bomb that Vanessa is pregnant, Michael and Jay have to figure out how to deal with the news.
24 Sep. 2003The Sweet Hairafter
Michael is convinced to try a new hair product after seeing the success a previously bald friend of his had with it. But as his hair starts to come in, Jay is fed up with his new and strange behavior, and Michael becomes convinced that Jay is trying to kill him.
1 Oct. 2003Jr. Executive
Michael wants Jr. to learn the family business by starting at the bottom, so he assigns Jr. to do menial jobs around Kyle Trucking. Jr., however, decides to use the fact that he's the boss' son to his advantage and convinces other employees to do his work for him. Meanwhile, Claire arranges a secret date with a guy she met on the Internet in a Shakespeare chat room.
8 Oct. 2003Jay Goes to School
Jay drops the bomb that she has enrolled in college, and despite Michael forbidding her, she goes anyway. At first the kids are behind her but as she becomes obsessed with her psychology class and diagnoses everybody, Michael tries to find a way to knock some sense into her before she drives the whole family crazy.
15 Oct. 2003Meet the Parents
Vanessa's parents come over the Kyles house to discuss the future baby's situation. Michael is outraged with the demands from the Scotts, but Calvin's size makes Michael think twice before taking any drastic measures. They take the Scotts out for dinner and are left with the bill. Realizing they have a couple of con artists on their hands, Michael and Jay stand up for themselves and set the baby's true needs Ã which don't include a new house for the Scotts as Calvin wanted.
22 Oct. 2003He's Having a Baby
When Jr. reveals he's not taking his fatherly responsibilities seriously, Michael makes a bet that he can't take care of a balloon baby like a real baby for a week, and if Jr. loses he has to enroll in a parenting class.
29 Oct. 2003The Funeral
The Kyles are willing to support Michael's inconsolable employee, Larry, who can't get over losing his 103-year-old grandmother. But Larry goes overboard when, at the funeral, he asks little Kady to kiss his "Grammy" goodbye and for Jay to sing his beloved grandmother's favorite R&B song.
5 Nov. 2003Ultrasound
The Kyles and Vanessa's parents escort her to her first ultrasound. When asked if they wanted to know the baby's sex, Michael is the only one who stands out with a positive answer. Obsessed with knowing whether he's having a grandson or a granddaughter, he tries by all means to have the doctor tell him. He finally assumes it's a boy, and tells Jay and eventually the rest of the family. But in the end the situation reverses as they all confirm with the doctor the real sex of the future Kyle and leave Michael out in the rain. Meanwhile, Franklyn freaks out with the idea...
12 Nov. 2003Marathon
Jay diets and exercises in training for an upcoming marathon, Michael laughs off all her training by insisting he can run faster than she can. But when the big day comes, Michael has to cheat in order to make it to the finish line first.
19 Nov. 2003While Out
Kady's at a slumber party and Jay and Michael go out for the night, but because Michael didn't recite the rules 'no friends, no freedom, no fire, no fun', Claire decides to throw a wild party.
26 Nov. 2003Micheal's Band
When Michael's old friend and former bandmate, Johnny "Saxophone" Watson, comes to town for a gig, it turns out Johnny's piano player can't make it. Michael eagerly accepts an invitation to take the man's place, but refuses to admit that his musical skills have gotten rusty. Meanwhile, love is blind when it comes to Franklin realizing that his little sister, Aretha, is a much better singer than the tone-deaf Kady.
10 Dec. 2003The Lady Is Not a Tramp
Michael finds a pack of condoms in Claire's backpack and jumps to conclusions since her boyfriend Tony is coming back from spending 40 days in the desert. Junior accidentally gives Kady his dog's medicine instead of her allergy medicine and Michael decides to teach him a lesson about responsibility since he'll be a father soon.
17 Dec. 2003Of Mice and Man
When Jay finds mouse droppings, she demands that Michael hire an exterminator to get rid of them, but, as usual, Michael is determined to handle it himself. Meanwhile, Claire is also freaked out by a rodent when she accidentally runs over a squirrel while driving home.
7 Jan. 2004Moving on Out
Tired of living in the garage, Jr. looks for an apartment and enlists his buddy, John, to be a co-signer... except that John has to dress up and pose as Jr.'s grandmother for the realtor. When Jr. and Vanessa's families come to visit the couple's new apartment, Jay is shocked to find that her new grandchild might be living in a run-down building with yellow police tape around the entrance.
21 Jan. 2004Candy Wars
When Kady wants to spend some quality time with her father, she enlists Michael's help in the school candy drive. But when the father of last year's winner claims he can prevail once again, a competitive Michael loses sight of helping Kady and commits to selling an exorbitant number of chocolate bars.
4 Feb. 2004Jr. Sells His Car
Jr. restores his prized 1964 Impala, but then he and Vanessa surprise everyone when they decide to sell it in order to have money for their new baby. Meanwhile, Franklin seeks advice from Michael on how to act more like a normal kid.
11 Feb. 2004The Anniversary Present
Michael and Jay try to hide their disappointment when they don't receive the wedding anniversary gifts each are expecting from each other. Meanwhile, with Franklin's help, novice cook Claire hopes to prepare a gourmet dinner for her parents' anniversary present.
18 Feb. 2004Illegal Smile
Michael gets a ticket for reckless driving and has to appear in court. Jay becomes obsessed with getting Botox and she and Michael both get a shot, resulting in their faces being frozen the next day. When Michael appears before the judge and can't remove the giant grin from his face, he gets thrown in jail.
25 Feb. 2004Outbreak Monkey
When an ecstatic Michael scores a ticket to see basketball star LeBron James play at Madison Square Garden, his excitement quickly turns to paranoia when, just days before the game, everyone in the Kyle household - except Michael - comes down with the flu. To ensure that he won't miss the game, he goes to absurd extremes to keep from getting sick, including spraying disinfectant on his family and using a ten-foot grabber to hand Jay her orange juice.
3 Mar. 2004Empty Nest: Part 1
During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.
3 Mar. 2004Empty Nest: Part 2
The conclusion of a two-part highlight episode features clips of Michael's "minor glitches" and Jay's concern about her weight.
10 Mar. 2004Calvin Comes to Stay
Calvin, Vanessa's gregarious father, has an argument with his wife, Jasmine, gets kicked out of the house and moves in with the Kyles, against their wishes. When he starts eating everything in sight and keeps everyone awake with his loud snoring, a frustrated Michael comes up with a clever plan to get Calvin back home.
31 Mar. 2004Calvin Goes to Work
When the overwhelmingly strong and gregarious Calvin, Vanessa's dad, begs Michael to give him a job at Kyle Trucking, Michael does so reluctantly and his worst fears are realized. Calvin's way of dealing with customers and merchandise leaves a little to be desired, and now Michael must find a way to get rid of the man without getting himself hurt in the process. Meanwhile, Claire gets Franklin to help her with her science paper.
21 Apr. 2004Romantic Night
Wanting to spend quiet time together, Michael plans a romantic evening with Jay at an exclusive hotel. Then, when Jr. mistakenly cancels the reservation, Michael tries to create a romantic night at home. But things take a disastrous turn when Michael hurts his head trying to shut off the water valve, Jay handcuffs them to each other - but can't find the key - and a burnt roast almost causes the house to burn down.
28 Apr. 2004The Director
In his excitement to tape a basketball game, Michael accidentally records over a home video of Kady's first steps, which happens to be one of Jay's most cherished family moments. When Jay decides to have a family home movie night, Michael must act quickly and enlists Franklin's help to reenact that moment of Kyle family history.
5 May 2004The Maid
While Jay is away at a seminar, Michael hires a maid, Mrs. Hopkins, to look after the family. Mrs. Hopkins fulfills their every need and wants to a sweet perfection, including homemade ice cream, an immaculately clean house and handmade outfits for Claire. When Jay comes home, she appreciates Mrs. Hopkins' attention to every detail, but begins to feel that perhaps she has taken over just a bit too much.
12 May 2004Hand Model
In a twist of fate, Michael is recruited as a hand model during Claire's modeling audition. As he flaunts his newfound fame, he is careful to protect the family's new financial asset - his hands. Meanwhile Franklin feels threatened by Kady's friendship with Rachel, so, on Jr.'s advice, he takes matters into his own hands.
19 May 2004What Do You Know?
During Family Night, Jay suggests they play a game called "What Do You Know?" where the men and women take sides and answer personal questions about their spouses; but the men get every question wrong and Michael especially winds up in the doghouse for saying Jay's dress size is 16 instead of 6.
26 May 2004The Baby: Part 1
Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.