My Wife and Kids (2001–2005)
28 Mar. 2001Pilot
Michael has been used to having his wife at home, taking care of him and the kids, but now she wants to use her hard-earned college degree.
4 Apr. 2001Grassy Knoll
When Michael and Jay realize that Jr. has been smoking marijuana, they provide him with an unforgettable night filled with fun and creative mind games. Meanwhile, Kady is disappointed that her big sister, Claire, won't spend time with her; and, to prevent their out-of-style clothes from being given away, Michael and Jay promise to wear the outfits for a week.
4 Apr. 2001Of Breasts and Basketball
Claire's trying to attract boys in school so she goes bra shopping.
11 Apr. 2001Making the Grade
Jr. gets an F in Algebra and forges it into an A. Claire finds out about it and soon starts to blackmail Jr. so she won't tell their parents.
11 Apr. 2001Working It
Jr. has to get an A on his Algebra final. Michael and Janet decide they have to do something to make him study, so Michael offers him 1,000 dollars if he gets an A.
18 Apr. 2001Snapping and Sniffing
Jr. is having problems at school with a bully, so Michael and Janet invite his parents over to discover some of the kid's weak points.
18 Apr. 2001He Said, She Said
Jay wants Michael to quit watching TV and spend a little more time with the family - something that apparently only she wants.
25 Apr. 2001Breaking Up and Breaking It
Claire develops her first real crush on a boy, and Michael does everything to break them up.
2 May 2001A Little Romance
Michael's brother Ken comes to visit and brings his newest girlfriend. While Jr. is mainly interested in seeing parts of her body, Michael envies his brother because his own sex life became a little boring.
9 May 2001Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Michael's accountant dies suddenly, making Mike take a whole new perspective about his life.
26 Sep. 2001Mom's Away: Part 1
While Jay is away taking care of her mother who broke a leg, Michael is left in charge of the house and the kids.
26 Sep. 2001Mom's Away: Part 2
The pregnancy test was Charmaine's, who is thinking about running away from home. Thanks to Michael's advice on teen parenting.
3 Oct. 2001No Rules
When Jay's away, the kids complain Michael is too strict; so he makes a bet that they can't go a week without any rules.
10 Oct. 2001Perfect Dad
While Jay's visiting her mother, the kids tell Michael of their ideas of what would make him the perfect father; Michael turns it around by sharing his ideas of what perfect children would be like and each finds out how unpleasant that idea is.
17 Oct. 2001Thru Thick and Thin
Jay returns from her mother's several pounds heavier than when she left and is in denial about it; when Michael tries to bring up the subject, Jay becomes hostile insisting that he should love her no matter how she looks.
24 Oct. 2001He Heard, She Heard
Michael overhears Claire on the phone making plans to sneak off to a party when she's supposed to be spending the night at a friend's house. Kady overhears his plans to go to the party and bust Claire and put her picture on his 'Wall of Shame' so she helps Clair leave the party early. Michael is furious that Claire outsmarted him and sets out to find who helped her.
31 Oct. 2001Michael's Garden
Michael's doctor wants him to undergo a colonoscopy but Michael is reluctant to do so; meanwhile Claire tries to trick Jay into doing her report on whaling in New England for her.
7 Nov. 2001Let Them Eat Pie
When Junior dares Claire to eat Michael's piece of lemon meringue pie, Michael's previous lesson to the kids about sticking together comes back to bite him when nobody will fess up as to who ate it. So he tries a different lesson, of feeding them nothing but lemon meringue pie until somebody confesses.
14 Nov. 2001Jay Gets Fired
Jay gets fired in front of the girls on "take your daughter to work day".
21 Nov. 2001The Whole World Is Watching
Jay buys Jr. computer appliances (including a 24-hour broadcast webcam), and Michael protests saying he'll only use it for porno instead of studying.
28 Nov. 2001Letting Go
Michael accidentally kills Kady's hamster and doesn't have the courage to tell her right away, which results in Kady playing around with a dead hamster.
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