Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal (2004 Video Game)
Captain Qwark: [Skrunch grunts] I thought we agreed to put that jungle business behind us!
Captain Qwark: [Skrunch grunts] It was mating season, how was I supposed to know she was your sister? Errr... how long have you two been standing there?
Clank: Too long.
Commander Sasha: Welcome aboard the Phoenix, gentlemen.
Commander Sasha: Impressive, isn't she! The Phoenix is the pride of the Galactic fleet. She's equipped with the latest technology, Power deck training suit, auto vendors for armour and weapons, virtual firing range, Starfighter upgrade system and even a Gadgetron VG-9000 games system.
Commander Sasha: Of course. With a Manex Fireball pro controller, VR headset and a Zero-G dancepad attachment.
Ratchet: Will you marry me?
Helga: Oh, the little man is cocky now. Perhaps you'd like to meet Helga on the wrestling mat. Let's see how cocky you are, twisted up like a wet noodle.
Ratchet: Maybe next time.
Ratchet: Hah! Pansies.
Ratchet: Uhh... hi, there, Skidd. Is Sasha there?
Skidd McMarxx: Sasha and Qwark are meeting up with the president, they left me in charge!
Ratchet: And Al?
Skidd McMarxx: He's out for lunch.
Skidd McMarxx: In the sauna!
Clank: Qwark's monkey, perhaps?
Ratchet: Hey, it's Al! Got the shields up yet?
Big Al: Silence! I am concentrating!
Ratchet: What the... that's a Qwark vid-comic!
Big Al: Excuse me... it is a historically accurate interactive graphic novel.
Ratchet: How can you use the cities defense network to play a video game?
Big Al: Simple. I bypass the security server with a 626 hack matrix adaptor and reprocess the graphic subprocessor.
Ratchet: No I mean
Ratchet: Clank... you speak nerd.
Captain Qwark: [flying toward nerfarious secret base in the shuttle] shotgun!
Ratchet: Ow! Hey What are you doing?
Captain Qwark: Move over! I'm drving!
Ratchet: Hehe no thanks. Id rather get there in *one piece*
Captain Qwark: Stand down solider! This is your *captin* speaking!
Ratchet: Captin my...
[they fight over the controls]
Ratchet: Dont sit on the flightstick!
Captain Qwark: OW!
Dr. Nefarious: What do you mean we can't teleport to a planet?
Lawrence: I'm afraid we're well out of range, sir. Perhaps if you had bothered to specify a destination...
Dr. Nefarious: When will we be in range?
Lawrence: Oh, I'm sure something will come along, in say, five or ten thousand years.
Dr. Nefarious: I don't believe this! Now what?
Lawrence: I don't suppose you can play drums?
Dr. Nefarious: LAWWWWWWREEEENNCCCCEEEE!
Galactic Ranger Commander: This reminds me of the sewer war on Planet Aquatos back in '62. When I killed a King Ameboid with my bare hands.
Agent 22: I heard the Ameboid swallowed you, sir. I hear that you were AWOL until you... uhh... were found a week later floating in a toilet on Planet Barien.
Galactic Ranger Commander: Shut your mouth Agent 22! You weren't there you don't know nothing about it!
Agent 22: Uh... I heard the same story. Only I heard it was more like 2 weeks.
Galactic Ranger Commander: [coughs] All units maintain radio silence.
Darla Gratch: Captain Qwark, first you make a miraculous comeback, and now you've defeated the Tyhrrannoids in a spectacular battle on their own planet! How do you explain your recent success?
Captain Qwark: Compassion, dashing good looks, IRON! HARD! ABS!
[Darla rolls her eyes]
Captain Qwark: But really, to be a true hero of heroes, you need more than just loads of charisma and a brilliant tactical mind. I couldn't have done it without...
[Ratchet looks hopeful]
Captain Qwark: THESE MASSIVE GUNS!
[Kisses his biceps in turn, Ratchet face palms, Darla looks away in disgust]
Courtney Gears: [after being defeated] No, my fans can't live without me!
Clank: One disposable pop star... disposed.
Ratchet: Skidd? What are you doing here?
Skidd McMarxx: My codename is shadow dude bro. Black Ops are my speciality. I figured you guys could use my help.
Ratchet: Err... thanks Shadow Dude but I think we've got this one covered.
Skidd McMarxx: All right... I'll just take my Hacker and go back to ship.
Ratchet: Hacker! Oh well you know on second thoughts, we'd like you to join the mission Shadow Dude.
Skidd McMarxx: Awesome... this is gonna be sick!
Ratchet: Hey, there's Dr. Nefarious. And that butler guy. And they've got Clank. Hey, how about that, they're holding you prisoner... I guess I should be feeling pretty stupid right now. I don't suppose there's any chance you're the evil Clank?
Ratchet: I thought not.
Clank: [while the president holds a speech about Capt. Qwark] What a load of bull...
Comic Narrator: These are the real life adventure of Captain Qwark, the greatest superhero the galaxy has ever known
Captain Qwark: Hey... is this thing on?
Comic Narrator: Ahem... Meticulously reconscructed with the aid of eyewitness acounts, bathroom gossip, wild speculations... and a magic eight-ball
Captain Qwark: Ratchet! I realized that you aren't wearing your regulation Q force green arced tights! I suggest that you get your butt back in uniform before I write you up for a dress code violation!
[Dr. Nefarious jams and freezes]
Lawrence: This is the best part of my day.
[slaps his face, fixing him]
Dr. Nefarious: To think, they called me insane, Lawrence. We'll see who's insane... when my pets have exterminated all life on this miserable planet!
Lawrence: That should clear things right up, sir.
Dr. Nefarious: The famous Captain Qwark couldn't possibly be this stupid... could he?
Lawrence: Even drooling imbeciles can achieve success in certain fields, sir. Mad science, for example.
Maximillian: Your luck is extraordinary sir, but do you lose as gracefully as you win?
Clank: I would not know Maximillian. I never lose.