Henry Davenport: Gus, I'm sorry, I am sorry Gus, but you have to die. It's a mercy killing. A brain as damaged as yours cannot sustain life as we know it.
Gus Hedges: Office humor, Henry, excellent.
Henry Davenport: That was not office humor, Gus, it was abuse, intended to highlight what a total twat you are.
Gus Hedges: Terrific. Every work place needs a jester!
Damien Day: Close as you can Gerry, that's it. And it is the construction of this conveyor belt which has so infuriated local residents. They can...
[camera begins to move as cameraman, Gerry, is stuck on the conveyor belt]
Damien Day: For goodness sake Gerry, what's the matter Oh well, never mind your arm, point the camera at me, we'll turn it into a tracking shot... And it is the construction of this, conveyor oh forget it, I look ridiculous.
Helen Cooper: He didn't want you to cancel it.
George Dent: But he said he did.
Helen Cooper: Well he meant the opposite of what he said.
George Dent: "Meant the opposite"? Oh for goodness sake, what is the point of having a language if people don't use it properly!
Gus Hedges: Let's stress how Tony's got a superb raft of ideas. Several rafts, in fact, which he's lashed together into a pontoon of excellence.
Dave Charnley: How did this get out? I told Helen in confidence,
Helen Cooper: Yeah, well, I just told Joy in confidence.
Joy Merryweather: Yeah well I just told the office in confidence!
Dave Charnley: You had sex in the polar bear enclosure?
Damien Day: Uh-huh. Then on a runway at Heathrow. And in a passport photo booth at Euston station.
Dave Charnley: Nah, you're makin' it up.
[Damien shows him the photo]
Dave Charnley: Bloody hell.
Gus Hedges: Joy, next time I'm on the phone to Sir Roysten, don't hover behind me humming Deutschland Deutschland Über Alles. Is that clear? Otherwise you'll see in the new year as a statistic.