Maxwell Smart: Here, I have my suicide pill. It's raspberry this month. Wanna try it?
Siegfried: [handling the pill] No thanks.
Maxwell Smart: Go ahead, it's not habit forming.
Maxwell Smart: Where's your suicide capsule?
Siegfried: [holds up left hand] This is my suicide ring. I will have to keep it on.
Maxwell Smart: A suicide wedding ring? How does that work?
Siegfried: Through my wife. She told me if I ever take it off, she'll kill me.
Siegfried: [on phone] Schmart!
Maxwell Smart: [on the other line] What happened?
Siegfried: Your Chief was just silenced by a pistol butt.
Maxwell Smart: Well that's a little drastic, isn't it, Siegfried? Couldn't you have just shushed him?
Siegfried: We don't shush here!
# 99: Oh, Max, please be careful. Carl Danker has killed 19 Control agents already and avoided capture every time. He's tricky and shows no mercy, Max. You'll be in extreme danger every minute.
Maxwell Smart: And... loving it.
Maxwell Smart: Eh, listen, I... I hope I wasn't out of line with that crack about 'fathead'
Maxwell Smart: [Max has just doublechecked if all the Control agents are on the bus] Yes, they're all here, Chief.
Chief: Then let's go.
Maxwell Smart: We can't.
Chief: Why not?
Maxwell Smart: Siegfried kidnapped our bus driver.
Siegfried: Well, why don't I come back a little later after you've had time to practice.
Maxwell Smart: [reads message from the secret compartment in the Chiefs desk] In case anything happens to me, contact my superior: Zebra 642. We're gonna have to look this up in the Chief's special codebooks
# 99: [pushes button to reveal the codebooks behind fake books on bookshelf] Zebra, that's the blue book.
Maxwell Smart: [Carlton reaches for the blue book] The blue book is the one with the green cover.
Carlson: Since when does a blue book have a green cover?
# 99: Max worked it out with the coding section. In case of a KAOS infiltrator every book has a cover identity.
Maxwell Smart: You see we have a cover for a cover.
Carlson: [reading from the book] It says: see green book.
Maxwell Smart: The green book is the one with the blue cover.
# 99: Max couldn't throw away a perfectly good book cover.
Maxwell Smart: [to Siegfried] If you're so smart, how come you lost two world wars?
Maxwell Smart: You better give up, Danker, this building is surrounded by forty Control agents!
[Danker shoots a bullet from his briefcase gun]
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe thirty?
[another shot from Danker's case ricochets off the crate Max is hiding behind]
Maxwell Smart: One angry boyscout?
[Danker shoots again but misses completely]
Maxwell Smart: Girlscout?
Danker: [Danker is waving a flamethrower at Max] Now you'll get it the hard way.
Maxwell Smart: Have you ever used one of those things before, Danker?
Maxwell Smart: Well, why don't I come back a little later after you've had time to practice?
Maxwell Smart: The old gun in the rabbit trick and I fell for it.