(TV Series)


Amber Tamblyn: Joan Girardi


  • Judith Montgomery : [juggling]  See? How cool is this? When you're in the zone, all is right with the world.

    Joan Girardi : [disinterested]  Yeah. Great. Cirque du Judith. Listen, where is Adam taking me for dinner?

    Judith Montgomery : Sworn to secrecy. I already told Lischak you'd do the project with me.

    [tossing the balls to Joan] 

    Judith Montgomery : Try it again.

    Joan Girardi : I would like to obsess over me now, okay, not these stupid balls. This is, like, my first real date with Adam.

    Judith Montgomery : And this is the only way to salvage my Physics grade. Do you want me to get shipped off to boarding school? Please?

    [Joan reluctantly tries, but fails] 

    Judith Montgomery : That's good.

    Joan Girardi : Can't we just see if Styrofoam floats?

  • Judith Montgomery : [teaching Joan to juggle]  Hey, better! He's taking you to La Cachette.

    Joan Girardi : That place is fancier than real France.

    [in horror] 

    Joan Girardi : I'm gonna get stuff stuck in my teeth.

  • Joan Girardi : Can't we just microwave popcorn and watch "The Shining"? I'll scream, he'll hold me.

    Judith Montgomery : He's spending his bonus from work on you instead of an XBox. You know how deep that is?

    Joan Girardi : Yeah, but I-I don't need a fancy date. I mean, we're fine the way we are.

    Judith Montgomery : Oh, yeah, real fine. You thought Adam and me were hooking up.

    Joan Girardi : All right. Occasionally not so fine, but... but what if he looks across the table and realizes that I'm not worth it?

    Grace Polk : [joining them by chance leaving class]  Could happen. The whole dating ritual is barbaric. It's all about compromise, the slow death of self.

    Joan Girardi : [sarcastic]  Way to make my first date special, Grace.

    Grace Polk : I'm gonna have to start another woman's movement. The first one obviously didn't take.

  • Joan Girardi : I'm gonna ask you something, but you're not my mother, okay? You're just some random old lady.

    Helen Girardi : No, I'm not old.

    Joan Girardi : Fine. Elderly. Okay, look. Your first date. You know, your very first real one, where a guy took you out and he paid for you and, um, you know, you had to look really nice and everything. Do you remember that?

    Helen Girardi : Oh, sweetheart.

    Joan Girardi : No mother stuff!

    Helen Girardi : Yes, I remember. My memory is still quite good for an elderly person.

    Joan Girardi : What was that like? Because Adam's gonna take me out tomorrow night, and you know how you have this whole fantasy about how it's gonna be all romantic, where you look at each other and you both know that this night was meant to be and you say all the right things, and he looks at you like you're the only person in the whole world, and all the other couples are totally jealous because they're just pure leftovers next to you, and when he takes you home, he gives you that kiss, that kiss that never leaves you, was it like that?

    Helen Girardi : [blankly]  Sure.

    Joan Girardi : Oh, my god. You're totally lying.

  • Nigerian Doctor God : I'm here, Joan.

    Joan Girardi : Why did you let this happen?

    Judith Montgomery : It's not his fault, JoJo.

    Joan Girardi : You make sure that she's okay.

    Judith Montgomery : JoJo.

    Joan Girardi : No, he can fix this.

    Judith Montgomery : Hey. Chill. Don't piss off the only doctor I like. He's the only one that'll look at me.

    Nigerian Doctor God : It's difficult not to look at such a beautiful person.

    Judith Montgomery : See? He's my angel.

  • Joan Girardi : Why didn't you tell me this was gonna happen? I could have stopped it.

    Nigerian Doctor God : Events unfold after choices are made, Joan.

    Joan Girardi : But why couldn't she see all the other choices she had?

    Nigerian Doctor God : It's about juggling, remember? Good choice, bad one. Good friends, bad ones. Light, dark. It's hard. You said so yourself.

    Judith Montgomery : Hey, doc. Don't take away my only friend.

    Joan Girardi : No. No, that's not true. You have lots of friends. Good ones.

    Judith Montgomery : Do not cry. I will be officially pissed if you cry.

  • Joan Girardi : What are you doing here? Haven't you done enough?

    Dog Walker God : She loved you, Joan.

    Joan Girardi : And I loved her. What am I supposed to do with that now?

    Dog Walker God : Did you ever hear the riddle about the man, his boxes, and the bridge?

    Joan Girardi : S-S-Stop. I... I just want my friend back.

    Dog Walker God : A man had three boxes. Each box weighed five pounds. The man weighed 190. The bridge could only support 200. How did the man make it across the bridge with all his boxes?

    Joan Girardi : This is just cruel.

    Dog Walker God : How did he get across, Joan?

    Joan Girardi : He juggles. Yes, okay, I get it. He keeps one box in the air the whole time. Yes, I get it. What-what-what are you saying? That if-if I juggled boxes across a bridge I'll see Judith again?

    Dog Walker God : Joan, the bridge is life. The boxes hold your feelings; your love, your joy, your pain, your loss. Everyone is crossing a bridge with more weight than they can bear. So, you juggle.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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