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"Monk" Mr. Monk Gets Married (TV Episode 2004) Poster

(TV Series)

(2004)

Quotes

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Sharona Fleming: We're never gonna get away with this. They're never gonna believe we're really married.

Adrian Monk: We have nothing in common. I annoy you all the time. Why wouldn't they believe it?

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[Monk and Sharona come to see Disher, late at night]

Sharona Fleming: Have you been drinking?

Lt. Randall Disher: Yes, I have. I couldn't think of any other way to get all this Scotch into my body.

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[Sharona and Monk are posing as a married couple]

Sharona Fleming: Adrian, this is a picnic. You have to sit on the ground.

Adrian Monk: I can't. Animals do things on the ground. Terrible, terrible things.

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Sharona Fleming: [after Monk refuses to sit on a bench because a bird sat on it the day before] You're impossible.

Adrian Monk: You married me.

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Dr. Julie Waterford: Adrian. Sharona. Glad you're still here. Something that I've been meaning to say. Marriage is very hard, and it takes exceptional people to make it work. But I think you two can do it. I believe in Adrian and Sharona.

Sharona Fleming: Thanks a lot, uh, but I think you should know

[pause]

Sharona Fleming: we're not really married.

Dr. Julie Waterford: Oh thank god. Good. Keep it that way, huh?

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[Disher is suspicious of his mother's new, young husband]

Lt. Randall Disher: I know she's not the prettiest woman in the world, but she's my mom, and I love her... but how could anybody else?

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Sharona Fleming: This guy's certifiable! Sure he's not related to you?

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Raymond Toliver: [finds a yellowing piece of paper inside a satinwood desk. He picks it up and reads it] "It was our first month out."

[the scene transitions into a flashback as Raymond reads Joshua Skinner's note]

Raymond Toliver: "Winter had set in early. We had just finished off the last of the beef jerky, and I was about to shoot one of the mules for supper, when Gully started screaming."

[Gully is visibly seen screaming with joy at having found a large stash of gold]

Raymond Toliver: "It was the motherlode all right. Most other 49ers died broke or hungry. But Gully and me, we were set for life. Funny thing about gold: the metal itself don't change much. Heated up, melted down, buried in the ground, the gold itself never changes. But it sure changes *people* though."

[Skinner comes out of the mine, where Gully is loading up the mules. As Gully turns, the look on his face turns to shock as Skinner bludgeons him with a shovel. Cut to present day in Raymond and Dalton Padron's antique store, where Raymond is reading the note]

Raymond Toliver: "Old Gully's fortune became my fortune. I never spent any of it except what it cost to build this house. Everybody is wondering where I hid the gold. The truth is, it's always been right here in this house. Where is the gold? The answer is in the journals."

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Raymond Toliver: [shaking his head] He killed his partner over some gold. Can you believe it?

[Raymond turns his back, Dalton bludgeons him over the head with an antique sewing machine]

Dalton Padron: As a matter of fact, I can.

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Sharona Fleming: [9:23] We have to do something. Randy must be falling apart. I almost feel sorry for him.

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Maria Disher: Six *million* dollars... who's gonna get all that money?

Sheriff Ronald Mathis: Well, I just spoke to the D.A. Skinner's old partner, Gully, is the rightful heir. He's got some family nearby, and they are in for one pretty surprise.

[Randy walks up to them]

Maria Disher: There's my hero.

Lt. Randall Disher: [embarrassed] I'm not a hero, Mom.

Maria Disher: [kisses him] You are a hero to me.

Lt. Randall Disher: Thank you, Sheriff. My car's right here, whenever you're ready.

Maria Disher: Well, honey, I think Ron's gonna drive me home. I'll call you in the morning. Love you.

Lt. Randall Disher: Love you, too...

[uncomfortably]

Lt. Randall Disher: In the morning?

Sharona Fleming: You can't even get your own mother to go home with you?

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