Carey Martin: I once dated this guy...
[Zack and Cody groan]
Carey Martin: What?
Cody Martin: You fought against City Hall and won.
Zack Martin: And then he dumped you.
Carey Martin: Have I told you this story before?
Zack Martin: No. That's just how all your boyfriend stories end.
Carey Martin: You boys need to do your American History homework
Zack Martin: Mother, there is no American History. Yesterday we got here on the boat and today we bathed in the creek!
Zack Martin: I just had a dream that taught me two things; No matter how small you are, if you're fighting for something you believe in, you could win.
Cody Martin: What's the second thing?
Zack Martin: Bob looks terrible in petticoats.
Carey: [to Cody] That's my little warrior!
Zack Martin: Ha! Your little warrior sleeps with a bunny-rabbit nightlight.
Maddie: Ok Esteban. Who was the first president of the United States?
London Tipton: Oo! I know this one. He chopped down a cherry tree, icky wooden teeth. Don't tell me.
Esteban: It's George Washington!
London Tipton: No, that's not it.
Maddie: Yes. It is. The guy on the one dollar bill.
London Tipton: They make a one dollar bill?
Maddie: I bet you can't name a single Founding Father.
London Tipton: Can so. My father founded Tipton Industries!
Maddie: But that's not...
London Tipton: I'm bored. Bye!
[London walks off]
London Tipton: Stop! If you get any dirt on this dress, daddy will take away your bully dozer!
[dodges the bulldozer]
Esteban: I know that one! It's when the colonist rebelled against the British because of texas.
Maddie: You mean, taxes?
Esteban: That's what I said, texas!
Carey: Wow, how'd you figure that out?
Cody Martin: Zack did.
Zack Martin: You know, I wish you people would realize that I'm a thoughtful and intelligent person.
Carey: I realize that, honey.
Zack Martin: We're gonna go lay down in front of the bulldozers.
Carey: I spoke too soon!
Mr. Moseby: Maddie we need to raise the prices
Maddie: These prices are so high I won't even be able to get afford a used horse
[in a girly voice]
Maddie: And I'm like getting my license like this year
Mr. Moseby: [looks at Esteban confused]
Esteban: She's a valley forge girl.