Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007) Poster

Matthew Gray Gubler: Simon



  • [upon coming home to his house being a mess] 

    David Seville : Oh my god, Theodore, did you just-?

    Theodore : [nervously]  Umm, Umm.

    Simon : [picks up a small pellet shaped this in front of Theodore]  It's a raisin, Dave.

    David Seville : Prove it.

    Simon : [puts it in his mouth]  Mmm-Mmm.

    David Seville : Okay, you got me. Look, I wanna talk to all you guys. Where's Alvin?

    David Seville : [heads off toward the kitchen]  Alvin!

    Simon : [quickly spits it out and looks sternly at Theodore]  You owe me big-time!

  • Theodore : Guys, I wanna go home.

    Simon : What do you mean? You are home.

    Theodore : No. I mean home home, with Dave.

    Alvin : But Theodore, wake up and smell the toffee. Dave doesn't even want us. He doesn't even care to come to our show.

  • David Seville : Chipmunks can't talk either.

    Simon : Well, our lips are moving and words are coming out.

    David Seville : This is not happening. I'm not talking to chipmunks, I'm not talking to chipmunks.

    Alvin : So, how's that going for you, Dave?

    David Seville : Uhh - uhh, how'd you know my name?

    Alvin : Oh, that one? We read your mail by accident.

    Simon : You really oughta pay that utility bill, Dave. Ever heard of a credit rating?

    Theodore : [turns on the food processor]  What's this thing?

    David Seville : Hey, hey... hey, hey, turn that off!

    Alvin : [turns off the food processor]  Sorry.

    Simon : [rubs Theodore's head]  He fell out of the tree at birth.

    David Seville : C-Can all animals talk?

    Simon : Well, fish do have this type of sign language.

    Alvin : Hey Dave, do all humans have houses that smell like sweatsocks?

    Alvin : [singing while squirting soap out of the soap dispenser]  Dave likes to wear, dirty underwear, with little hairs...

    Simon : We're getting off on the wrong foot. Allow us to introduce ourselves. Hello, I'm Simon, the smart one. He's Alvin...

    Alvin : The awesomest one...

    Theodore : And I'm Theodore.

    David Seville : Oh, that's nice to meet you. Now get out of my house.

    Theodore : But... we talk.

    David Seville : Which only makes me want you out of my house that much more. It's creepy, unnatural, somewhat evil.

    Alvin : I kind of liked him better when he was unconscious.

    David Seville : [places a mixing bowl over the chipmunks]  Gotcha!

    Alvin : Hey!

    David Seville : Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

  • David Seville : H-How did you guys...?

    Simon : We're talking chipmunks, Dave. We can get out of a cat carrier. Not even hard to do.

  • David Seville : Alright, here's the deal; you guys sing my songs, you get to sleep here.

    Alvin : [thinks about it]  No. Wait! Is breakfast included?

    David Seville : [thinks about it]  I can live with that.

    Simon : What about TV privileges?

    David Seville : [thinks about it]  Okay, but not after seven.

    Theodore : Eight.

    David Seville : Done. Don't tell you're animal friends, cause I don't wanna come home and find a bunch of rabbits and skunks on my couch.

    Simon : Filthy creatures, Dave. Never associate with them.

    Theodore : Yeah, you're our only friend.

    David Seville : No, no, no, no, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Let's just start with me being your songwriter.

    Alvin : Um, let me ask you, have you ever written a song before?

    David Seville : Yup.

    Alvin : And... is that your music stuff outside?

    David Seville : Yup.

    [thunder claps reminding Dave that his songwriting equipment is soaked in the rain] 

    David Seville : Oh no!

    Alvin : Hurry back.

  • [first lines] 

    Alvin (singing voice) , Simon (singing voice) , Theodore (singing voice) : [a capella]  Where is the moment we needed the most/You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost/They tell me your blue skies fade to gray/They tell me your passion's gone away/And I don't need no carryin' on/Cause you had a bad day/You're taking one down/You sing a sad song just to turn it around/You say you don't know/You tell me don't lie/You work at a smile and you go for a ride/You had a bad day/You've seen what you like/And how does it feel for one more time/You had a bad day/You had a bad day/

    Alvin : [pushing the last of the acorns into the tree]  It's going, It's going.

    [gets sucked in and falls out with all of the acorns] 

    Simon : And it's gone.

    Alvin : [from inside the tree]  Whatever!

    Theodore : Maybe we should take a break.

    [an acorn hits him on the head] 

    Theodore : Ouch!

    Alvin : That's it! I can't take this anymore! I can't! I give up! I'm sick of struggling for survival! Competing with gophers and earthworms, and that loser sparrow who always takes my nuts! And I'm especially sick of this stupid, stupid... *tree!*

    [the sound of a buzzsaw is heard, and the tree shakes] 

    Simon : Whoa! What's happening?

    Theodore : Guys! I think he made it angry!

  • Simon : [after knocking out Dave]  Hmm. He's been out for quite a while.

    Theodore : [gasps]  You guys, he's dead!

    Alvin : Don't panic! Wipe everything down! I'll need three garbage bags, a shovel, some disinfectant, some latex gloves, and oregano. Go!

    Simon : Hang on, Sherlock. He's coming too.

    David Seville : I must be hearing things.

    [regains consciousness] 

    David Seville : Oh, this is trippy.

    Theodore : Sir, are you alright?

  • Theodore : [munching on some cereal]  This is the greatest day of my life!

    Alvin : Eureka! I found the cheese balls!

    [Alvin pours out the cheese balls and Simon catches them with a bowl] 

    Simon : Ughh! Alvin, what are you doing? Don't make a mess!

    Alvin : Cannonball!

    [jumps into the bowl of cheese balls] 

  • Alvin : Last one to the door is road kill!

    Simon : I'm in!

    [Alvin and Simon make a break for the door] 

    Theodore : [distracted by a Christmas ornament]  Hmm... What are these shiny things?

    Simon : [goes back to Theodore]  Theodore, we're leaving now!

  • David Seville : [picks up a stack of toster waffles from the under the kitchen rug] 

    Simon : We put a few toaster waffles aside for winter

    Alvin : And we're not sharing!

    David Seville : Guys, we're gonna have food all winter so if you start storing it, it's gonna get gross and we're gonna have rodent -...

    Simon , Theodore , Alvin : [looks at Dave] 

    David Seville : Bad you know... non-talking rodents around here

  • Alvin : [tries to open a bottle of champange]  Stupid cork! Doesn't - Whoa!

    [Cork flies into a glass door cabinet breaking it along with some of the glasses in it] 

    Alvin : Yikes, Ha-ha! Oops!

    David Seville : Not gonna say it.

    Alvin : Uh-oh!

    Simon : Good grief.

    [Champagne spills all over the floor creating a large puddle] 

    Claire : Are you still not gonna say it?

    David Seville : [tries very hard not to]  Nope!

    [Champagne puddle becomes a flood that hits a plug outlet, causing a blackout in Dave's house] 

    David Seville : I'm gonna say it. AAAAAALLLLLLVVVVVVIIIIIINNNNNN!

    Alvin : OKAY!

  • David Seville : Uh, guys, what's this about?

    [holds up one of his presentation boards in front of Simon and Theodore] 

    Simon : Obviously, Theodore's butt.

    Theodore : We told you we colored.

    David Seville : On my presentation boards? You got me fired.

    Theodore : [Dave grabs the remote]  We didn't know.

    Theodore : [Dave turns off the TV]  We're sorry, Dave.

    David Seville : Oh, you're sorry? That's fantastic!

    Theodore : But...

    David Seville : Sorry doesn't get my job back now, does it, Theodore?

  • Theodore : Who's Claire?

    Simon : Claire is Dave's mate. Ooh-la-la.

    David Seville : She's not my mate. She's my ex-mate.

    David Seville : [frantically tries to clean the house]  This is great.

    Simon : Dave, slow down. You just go get the food. We'll take care of the rest, all right?

    David Seville : Oh, why am I having a hard time believing you?

    Alvin : That hurts, Dave. That really hurts.

    Simon : Yeah, we're all in this together, Dave.

    Theodore : Like a family.

    David Seville : No, not like a family!

    Alvin : Tick-tock, Dave. Better bust-a-move!

    David Seville : Right.

    [Theodore giggles and Dave points at him] 

  • Alvin (singing voice) , Simon (singing voice) , Theodore (singing voice) : [a capella]  Only you can make this world seem right / Only you can make the darkness bright

    [Dave opens window] 

    Alvin : Uh, were we disturbing you?

    David Seville : Y-you guys can sing too?

    Alvin : That's not singing, this is singing.

    Alvin (singing voice) , Simon (singing voice) , Theodore (singing voice) : [sing Funkytown] 

    David Seville : This is amazing. Here, everyone inside.

    [the three chipmunks jump onto the trash can one by one] 

    Simon : [almost slips]  Whoopsie.

    [Dave helps Simon up] 

    Simon : Thank you.

  • Alvin : [Theodore crashed a RC car]  Why didn't the airbags deploy?

    Simon : Theodore, don't go into the light!

    Theodore : Huh? Phew! Let's do it again!

  • Alvin : This is absurd. I feel like P. Diddy with fur.

    Simon : And to be honest, the new songs don't really sound like us.

    Ian : Well, you know what I think? I think the new direction is perfect, you know? It's all about today's edge.

    Theodore : Dave always said it was all about the music.

    Ian : [mocking]  Dave always said it was all- You know what? Dave-Dave-Dave-Dave-Dave is not here! Okay? It's me! It's fun Uncle Ian! All right? Okay?

  • David Seville : What was that?

    Simon : Nothing. Nothing. Just a little stage fright.


    Theodore : I thought my heart was gonna to explode.

    Alvin : We're not performing monkeys, Dave. Why do we have to sing for that guy, anyway?

    David Seville : Well, how this? Pretend I need the money and I hate my job and you're staying at my place, so you owe me.

    Theodore : We're sorry, Dave.

    David Seville : Yeah. That helps.


    David Seville : Never mind. I'm late for work.

    Theodore : Ooh, ooh, ooh!

    [raises hand] 

    Theodore : Can we go with you?

    David Seville : What, so you can mess that up, too? Uh-uh. You're going home.

    Alvin : [nudges Theodore back into the seat]  Can I stand at your lap and steer?

    Theodore : Ooh! Can we at least beep the... horn? Never mind.

  • David Seville : [looks at his shopping cart filled with boxes of waffles]  Guys, what's all this?

    Theodore , Simon , Alvin : Toaster Waffles.

    David Seville : You know, I can't afford all these toaster waffles.

    Theodore , Simon : Aww!

    Alvin : What?

    David Seville : Well, in case you didn't notice, I don't have a job anym-

    [hears the Christmas song playing over P.A. system] 

    David Seville : My song.

    Alvin : All right.

    Simon : Yeah!

  • David Seville : [on the phone]  Hi, Mom.

    Simon : A little situation, Dave. Theodore vacuumed up Alvin.

    Theodore : Alvin!

    Alvin : Dave, help!

    David Seville : What?

    Simon : Well, at least it wasn't the garbage disposal.

    Theodore : Just stay calm.

    [he gets sucked in the vacuum screaming] 

    Simon : And there goes Theodore.

    David Seville : Look I-I can't do this right now, okay?

    Simon : I absolutely understand, but, sorry, Dave? Quick question.

    [looks at kitchen sink already filled up with water] 

    Simon : How do you feel about an indoor pool?

    David Seville : Look, if you flood my house, you're dead, out on the street. Capisce?

    [hangs up phone] 

    David Seville : Mothers.


  • Simon : [reading the attempt letter written months ago by Dave]  Dear fellas, I'm sorry, but-


    Simon : You should go back to your real home in the forest.

    Alvin : I guess he really does want us to go.

  • Alvin : [knocks on door]  You should've kissed her, Dave. She really wanted you!

    Simon : Alvin, you're not helping.

    Alvin : Aw, don't give up, Dave.

    David Seville : Go away! Leave me alone!

    Theodore : Dave, would you like a cookie?

    David Seville : I said leave me alone!

  • David Seville : It's hard, I know, three months ago you were wandering around in a tree somewhere and, now you're...

    Alvin : [sucks air from a balloon and speaks in a low voice]  major rockstars!

    David Seville : Okay, whatever. Well, my point is, just because you're...

    Alvin : [low voice]  major rockstars!

    David Seville : [releases balloon from Alvin's hand and sits down again]  ... doesn't mean that you can have or do whatever you want!

    Simon : Well, Uncle Ian said that we should always be happy.

    David Seville : Okay, you know what? He's not your uncle!

    [pulls the balloons down from the ceiling fan] 

    Alvin : He also, David, said that we should be making 20 dollars a day.

    David Seville : Well, guess what? You're making way more than that. And because I care, I'm putting it all away for you, just like storing nuts for the winter.

    Alvin : Ah, winter's for losers!

    Simon : Yeah. And shouldn't we be having our say on how to build our investment portfolio?

    David Seville : Where is all this coming from? You guys are just kids.

    Alvin : Kids, Dave... or rats?

    David Seville : What?

    Theodore : Well, Uncle Ian said that we're like his family.

    David Seville : Oh yeah? Well, if you love Uncle Ian so much and don't think I'm watching out for you, why don't you go live with Uncle Ian?

  • Theodore : How do you think it's going?

    Alvin : Terrible! They're not even sniffing each other!

    Simon : But Alvin, Dave said that...

    Alvin : Dave needs a little help from the love doctor.

    Theodore : And his assistant.

    Simon : [pulls Theodore inside the room]  Get back here.

  • [after being captured and placed into a cat carrier] 

    Alvin : You'll never take us alive!

    Simon : They just did take us alive, Alvin.

    Alvin : It's a figure of speech, Simon. Instead of criticizing me, why not use your big brain to think of a way out?

  • Alvin : Is it me, or was he a little mad?

    Simon : Hmm... I wonder... is Dave mad? Yes!

    Theodore : He really did have garlic breath.

    Simon : Yeah, well played, guys.

    Alvin : Idea, ding-ding-ding-ding! Who has cab fare?

    Simon : Cab fare? We don't even have pockets.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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