West Lakefield students choose "Coach Ray" to be the recipient of their fall fundraising efforts, but Ray sees their pickle-jar donation as an embarrassing metaphor for his downward spiral. All is not lost, however - Tanya has a couple of leads that could jumpstart Ray's gigolo career. But is Ray ready, willing and able enough to follow through? Meanwhile, Damon is shattered when he rushes to his sister's defense during drive-in family night, only to learn that Darby doesn't want his help.
- "Hung" - "The Pickle Jar" - July 26, 2009
Ray jogs in the early morning fog.
Later, Ray is hanging in the back of the cafeteria as the students are showing a slideshow of his life: star athlete to beloved teacher. The student giving the speech talks about how Coach Ray has always been there for them and when they go off to school and to live there lives he will always be there. Ray is depressed that he is thought of as someone who will always be there and that she left out the part where he got a contract with the Atlanta Braves and his career was cut short by a ligament injury. Tanya calls as he listens to the kids say that he's the recipient of the student fall fundraiser. He ignores the call as he is presented a pickle jar full of small bills and change. The kids hope he can buy a structural beam for his roof with the approximately $235. Tanya leaves a message asking whether he's in or out.
Tanya meets with a prospective client, an older woman named Molly. She wants to make sure the man Tanya picks out isn't a freak and is packing heat. Tanya assures her that she's picked out a normal man, one who would appeal to normal women like herself and Molly. She waits while Molly goes to the ATM to get the $300. A 50% discount for Lenore's referrals.
Jessica comes to visit Ray's burned out house. Apparently she was having nightmares about it. But then she realizes that none of her stuff was there so there was no reason to worry. Ray says yup, just his stuff. She wonders how he keeps from shooting himself. He says he just keeps putting one foot in front of the other. She tells Ray she wants to take Darby to New York the next day as a surprise to see "Mamma Mia!" to cheer her up since she's having boy troubles. He says it's his night and that drive-in movie night with dad is just what she needs.
Ray is at work on his roof when Mrs. Koontz drives up next door and gives him a suggestive look. He's confused.
Tanya barges in on Ray's tent. She laments that a man his age needs not to be sleeping in the freezing cold. She tells him about the two clients she's lined up for him the next day. He says he can't do it. She wonders why. He says he has to put up a beam. She shows him the pre-paid wad of cash and tells him to postpone his roof project.
Ray shows up for his appointment with Molly and notices the tag sticking out of his suit. He tucks it back in. He enters the hotel room and is visibly deflated that she's older and on the round side. As she starts to undo his tie he asks if she has any aspirin. She offers ibuprofen and as he takes it he says he's sick and doesn't want to give her his illness and that he needs to cancel. This makes her sad, obviously thinking that he finds her unappealing.
Jessica, Darby, and Damon are getting mani-pedis and Darby is lamenting that Hammer has dumped her since he hasn't answered a text in two days and after she refused sex he made fun of her thighs. Damon tries to counsel her to forget the jerk. Jessica wonders if maybe Hammer was flirting, since the boys used to tease her in high school about her rear end. Darby says she is not her mother and that he was not flirting. Jessica comments favorably on Damon's black nail polish saying it doesn't look gay at all. He says he's not gay. She says either way it looks good. Lenore sits down next to Jessica and is yelling into her phone - to Molly- that she paid for that man to have sex with her and he should've had sex with her. She uses a less delicate phrase than "have sex" however and Jessica takes exception to her language. When Lenore is done she hands Jessica her business card- which reads Fashion Advice- and tells her to call her when she wants to pick out an outfit to go with the stick up her ass.
Tanya has convinced Ray to come to her house. As he takes a bath she enters and they talk about Molly. Tanya says she thinks his "sickness" is psychosomatic. He says his head is pounding but admits that Molly wasn't his type. Tanya says that's not the point. These women open the door and he has to walk through and perform no matter what they look like. He says he can perform no problem. She says that's good since she's booked him two dates the next night. One at 8 and one at 11. He's in.
At dad's night at the drive-in, Damon is still trying to get Darby to forget about Hammer. They watch a gory horror movie and Damon jokes that the family that screams together stays together. Darby says not their family. Just then Hammer walks by with a girl. Darby takes off after him and Damon after her and then Ray after him.
At the concession stand Darby confronts Hammer saying she wants to talk. He, a big oafy guy, wonders if she means right now. Damon gets in his face and calls him a jerk. Hammer grabs Damon and pushes him against a table when Ray enters and yells at him for bullying a kid when he is "twice as fat." Darby points out Damon started it. Hammer stalks off. Darby stalks off after him. The skinny girl he was with is all "this sucks." As Ray and Damon watch Darby talk to this idiot Ray notices Damon is crying. Damon says life is just too much and Ray hugs him as he cries.
Ray is jogging again and he runs into Floyd. He says hello. Floyd says he thinks Tanya should stay away from him since she's going places and Ray's a quitter. Ray says he's no quitter. Floyd says whatever he's going to jog on now and then tauntingly asks how Ray's vintage car business is coming.
Tanya sits at her desk at the law firm watching the clock as well. A colleague walks in and startles her by asking about some papers. Tanya says she hasn't gotten to it and is preoccupied. The colleague says she doesn't care.
Ray goes to the hardware store with the pickle jar and it turns out there's only $143 in it. The clerk informs him loudly that a beam costs $500 anyway not including the cost of wood. Ray looks at the clock it's 7:20.
Ray returns for take two with Molly. He apologizes. She admits she was worried it was her. He says of course not. She wonders what happens now. He goes to hold her face in his hands. She looks at him and suddenly says she's changed her mind. She sits on the bed and explains that every day her husband wants to have sex with her at 6 a.m. He says he can't have a good day if he doesn't.The problem is he's terrible at sex and he has a small penis. She can't have sex with Ray because she'll just be thinking about her husband. At first Ray seems relieved and then as he goes to grab his tie he rethinks. He turns to her and says maybe they should just relax and see where it goes. She's unsure. He starts to take off his shirt and tells her that he's a professional and promises she won't be thinking about her husband after he's through with her. She eyes his chest and says, well at least she'd like to see his penis. He pulls down his pants, she gets a gander, and immediately says she's changed her mind. They start making out.
On his way out, feeling better, stronger, more confident he calls Tanya for the next address. She's thrilled he went through with it. On his way to the next appointment he checks his look in the mirror and the suit tag pops out again. He rips it off and knocks on the door.