Bridesmaids (I) (2011)
Maya Rudolph: Lillian
Lillian : You remember my cousin, Rita.
Annie : Rita!
Rita : [hugs Annie] Annie, I haven't seen you since you graduated high school.
Lillian : She has three kids now.
Rita : Three boys.
Lillian : They're so cute.
Rita : They are cute, but when they reach that age, ugh. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible, and there is semen all over everything. Disgusting. I cracked a BLANKET in half. Do you get where I'm going with this?
Annie : I do, yeah.
Rita : [gesturing] I cracked it in half!
Lillian : Why can't you be happy for me and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?
Annie : Are you fucking kidding me?
Annie's Mom : Annie?
Annie : No, mom. Mother fucking Paris? I told you about Paris, Helen! I told you about this whole idea!
Lillian : Annie, calm down...
Annie : No, Lillian! What are you gonna go, you're gonna go to Paris with Helen now? What are you gonna, you guys gonna ride around on bikes with berets and fucking baguettes in the basket on the front of your bikes? Oh how romantic! What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris? Am I right? Lesbian! We're all thinking it, aren't we?
Becca : [quickly] I'm not.
Megan : I was.
Annie : Okay! Yes, we're all thinking it, right?
Annie's Mom : Annie...
Annie : Lillian, this is not the you that I know! The you that I know would have walked in here and rolled your eyes and would have thought that this was completely over the top, ridiculous, and stupid! Look at this shower! Look at that *fucking* cookie! Did you really think that this group of women was gonna finish that cookie? Really, and you know that reminds me actually; I never got a chance to try that *fucking* cookie!
Lillian : This is such a stone-cold pack of weirdos, and I am so proud!
Lillian : [Has diarrhea from food poisoning and is trying to get to a bathroom] It's happening! It happened.
Lillian : You told me not to bleach my butthole, and I did it anyway, and now I love my new bleached butthole!