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"Glee" The Spanish Teacher (TV Episode 2012) Poster

(TV Series)

(2012)

Quotes

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Roz Washington: Sue, you can't have no baby. You are old as a hill. You ain't gonna give birth to no child; you gonna give birth to a grandchild. You gonna get in them stirrups, and you gonna push and push, and a full-grown adult gonna pop out with a briefcase and a job talking on a cellphone. What you need to do is start praying that you give birth to a child that likes to eat sand 'cause that's all that's coming out of them old, wrinkly boobs.

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Kurt Hummel: Why are you being so weird and serious? Our periods don't come until the end of the month.

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Will Schuester: I think your accent is throwing me off. Where you from?

David Martinez: Ohio!

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Will Schuester: ¿Quién es más macho de Will Schuester?

Subtitles: Who is more macho of/from Will Schuester?

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Mercedes Jones: Sam just tweeted that I smell good.

Sam Evans: I won't stop 'til it's trending.

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Will Schuester: It was you. You're the one who complained to Principal Figgins about me.

Santana Lopez: Yeah. And I'd do it all over again after that performance.

Will Schuester: You're messing with adult things here, Santana. This is my job. This is my life!

Santana Lopez: This is my education and it's not a joke to me, although it seems to be one to you.

Will Schuester: What are you talking about? They all loved my performance.

Santana Lopez: Because they don't know any better and it's your fault! You're their teacher. You went from la cucaracha to a bullfighting mariachi? Why not just dress up as the Taco Bell chihuahua and bark the theme song to Dora the Explorer? You don't even know enough to be embarrassed about these stereotypes that you're perpetuating.

Will Schuester: That's not fair!

Santana Lopez: Isn't it?

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Santana Lopez: What did you want to be when you grew up? I mean, why did you become a Spanish teacher, Mr. Shue?

Will Schuester: Because... it was the only teaching position open at the time.

Santana Lopez: I want to remind you of something that an amazing teacher once taught me. Without passion, you can't succeed.

Will Schuester: Who taught you that?

Santana Lopez: You did. And you do when you teach Glee.

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Sue Sylvester: [to Santana] Hold it right there, Sandbacks. You and I need to have a serious chat. Now I realize when I chose Becky as co-captain for the Cheerios, it might have rubbed you the wrong way.

Santana Lopez: Wanky.

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Sue Sylvester: [to Santana] You lodged a complaint about my teaching tactics with Principal Figgins, possibly derailing my bid for tenure just when I'm trying to have a baby!

Santana Lopez: A baby? With whose vagina?

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Sue Sylvester: You know, Roz, the English language lacks the requisite words to express just how much I dislike you.

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Finn Hudson: Look, I'm getting to the point in my life where I kind of need to be honest with myself about who I am.

Kurt Hummel: And who is that?

Finn Hudson: Not you. Not Rachel.

Kurt Hummel: That's the point, Finn. There are plenty of us. Trust me. The one thing that Glee Clubs and theater programs don't have is the hot, straight football player who can sing and sort of dance. You're unique, Finn and I can't see this proposal thing as anything else but you giving up on yourself.

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Becky Jackson: Coach, I have a confession to make.

Sue Sylvester: Take a seat. Now, if this is about the complaint you lodged against me with Principal Figgins, I already know.

Becky Jackson: You do, Coach?

Sue Sylvester: Oh, Becky, I've known ever since I tinker-tailor-soldier-spied my way into Figgins's file cabinet and read the evaluation cards, and when I saw one written in crayon, I knew it was either you or Brittany and you're the better speller.

Becky Jackson: Coach, I'm sorry. I was just looking out for the team.

Sue Sylvester: Did you mean what you wrote? That you're worried I'm not as focused on the Cheerios as I used to be? Well, then you don't need be sorry and thank you for the feedback.

Becky Jackson: You're not mad?

Sue Sylvester: No, Becky. But impending motherhood doth given me perspective. Oh, Becky, I'm reminded winning, my girls, destroying my enemies. Motherhood's not gonna change that. If anything, it makes me want them far more. You're an excellent co-captain, Becky. You're like me. Not afraid to make the tough calls.

Becky Jackson: Coach? You're gonna be a great mom.

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