Mortdecai (2015) Poster


Gwyneth Paltrow: Johanna



  • Mortdecai : ...kissing a man without a mustache is like eating an egg without salt.

    Johanna : Uhh, don't point that thing at me.

    Jock : Told ya!

  • Mortdecai : Oh, my darling, I tried desperately to be unfaithful to you, I really did. But I just couldn't do it.

    Johanna : It's a terrible moment when you finding yourself falling in love with your own spouse, isn't it?

    Mortdecai : Now that is the look that softens every bone in my body, except one.

  • Mortdecai : [calling through the door]  Johanna. Are you all right in there, darling? It is I, Charlie... Your husband.

    Johanna : What is it?

    Mortdecai : Oh, moon of my delight. This is your own personalized Sheik of Araby who seeks admission into your tent. I have come to carry you off to the burning desert, and work my greasy will upon you under the tropical stars. Send your camel to bed, damn it!

    Johanna : [sighs]  My Sheik, does this mean you have excommunicated that mustache of the Prophet?

    Mortdecai : ...I'll trim it... Darling. I am embarking on a very dangerous escapade, from which I may not well return. And it is customary in these situations for, you know, a proper send-off. Quick session of congress. Sink the Bismarck, if you will. And by the way, did I mention it is a matter of national security.

    Mortdecai : Mmm.

    [forces his way in] 

  • Mortdecai : Quite a conundrum, this. I shall need a moment to thing this through, I'm afraid.

    Johanna : Yes, do. Do think. Just bear in mind, I'm standing on a loo, holding a dead man's Goya.

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