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5/10
An Honest Review
28 January 2020
I rarely give things a 5. I usually just do a 1 or 10 and keep it simple...

... but this was the best sequel to The Exorcist they made, and that isn't really saying much. The second one was horrible and the ones that followed were horrible. In fact, I think they were so bad it was instantly remade.

But, this one was decent, it felt the most like an actual sequel to the Exorcist, it was unsettling, it was intelligent, it was pretty memorable in its own way. But it still was a bit too much, not underplayed enough to really feel like the one that started it all.

And, honestly, compared to what we have in the theaters today it is a great film
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Die Hard 2 (1990)
10/10
An Honest Review
26 January 2020
I was 10 in 1990, I loved Die Hard, and I hated Die Hard 2.

Now I'm 40 and I am rewatching this and.... compared to movies today it is pretty good. If this was made in 2020 it would be a 10 out of 10 star smash blockbusting hit that all of America raves about except the "everything is political all the time crowd."

But it didn't, it came out in 1990 and because of that it was a subpar sort of BS action movie that in no way lived up to the first one.

The thing is... I'm writing the review in 2020. Today it's a good movie if you compare it to most everything in the theaters today and especially to the new Die Hard movies.
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10/10
An Honest Review
26 January 2020
It is Top Gun on wheels isn't it? Only Maverick came across as more blue collar wild and Trickle is a little more California pretentious wild.

So it's kind of Top Gun only with Cary Elwes playing Val Kilmer.

It's kind of Top Gun only Robert Duvall plays Cobra.

It's kind of Top Gun but Nicole Kidman plays Kelly McGillis.

It's kind of Top Gun only with NASCAR instead of Tomcats.

You can't really fault this as a bad film, because it makes a promise to be a certain kind of film, and it keeps it's promise... and entertains while doing it.

So, if you are coming in thinking Chinatown.... what do you think you are watching?
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Darkman (1990)
10/10
An Honest Review
26 January 2020
This is interesting... this is one of those B-Movie gems that is packed full of pro-talent before they really became pro-talent. And that is right down to the Cohens who did uncredited script polishing.

This is worth the watch, even if you are one of those people that hates B-movies... wrongly hates.

And, it's a comic book movie, it is over the top, it is campy, it packs serious action into a short little plot that still manages to be compelling. The MCU could take lessons on story crafting from this.
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Class of 1999 (1990)
10/10
An Honest Review
26 January 2020
One of the reviewers here called this a "trashy and no brainer film" as he was praising it and... never was a truer word spoken. Especially since it was said in praise.

This is, honestly, the kind of movie I stayed up well past my bedtime, in the basement, to catch on HBO. This is 10 year-old boy bliss. This is made for those night owls that aren't looking for Chinatown, they are looking for mindless fun.

And what could be more mindless and fun than high school, robot teachers, and over-the-top street gangs in a post apocalyptic education system that, honestly, probably works more as an accurate satire today that it does pointless B-movie bliss.

Which leads me to the point in the review where I say, if you are going to give it a bad review because of the stupid plot or the lack of quality in the special effects, or the over-the-top story... what kind of movie did you think you were sitting down to watch?
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10/10
An Honest Review
26 January 2020
I am currently attempting to con my wife into watching this, not because it's a great movie, but because I know it's the kind of movie that she is going to laugh at and enjoy. It has that humor that people that are ESL can really pick up on without having to be an expert native speaker to follow the word play...

... but then again, she's actually gotten good enough with English that she's watching and enjoying Monty Python so, who knows if that still applies.

As I said, it's not a great film, but it is memorable, and memorable for it's dumb humor and brainless action alone that is personified by Gibson when he was at the top of his game for fun, dumb, and entertaining action/comedy flicks.

Historically we can call it a cult of personality, because, honestly, you are watching it strictly because of Gibson's personality and his sense of humor.

And mind you, this was before he did that thing... which he asked forgiveness for very publicly... and I personally don't see why people feel it's necessary to continue to beat a man after he made amends for a mistake.

Honestly, you're watching it and remembering it because it is a funny Gibson action comedy, and nothing more. Especially since he kind of outshines Hawn in the comedy department in this one, which is kind of shocking given that she can be pretty hysterical when she wants to. In this, however, I'm not sure she was really giving it her A game, or maybe she just sulked back to a co-star routine.

But, it doesn't claim to be anything more, it achieves it's goals, and it entertains.
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Air America (1990)
10/10
An Honest Review
26 January 2020
I have a special love for this film, if for no other reason that the bulk of my college experience was spent on the cold war, the alphabet soup of PBSUCCESS, MKULTRA, JMWAVE, PAPERCLIP, COLDFEET, MKOFTEN, The Phoenix Program, ARTICHOKE, and my favorite (just because of how bad it sounds) Midnight Climax.

So a comedy about Air America was absolutely priceless. And, given that I am not one of those history nuts that cares about historical accuracy I can still sit back and enjoy something like this. I mean, honestly, so long as it's not a complete and total re-write... Hollywood can take it's liberties and edit what happened for drama, because, really, it just means that now people have heard of Air America.

And, honestly, when you choose to study the Cold War, people tend to think you're a conspiracy nut when you mention things like this, PBSUCCESS, Russians assassinating people with radiation poisoning and umbrella guns...

... So when something like this comes along, it's like yes... now people won't think I'm as crazy as Alex Jones.

And, you know, it features a song from the Seeds (and any real punk fan is going to drool over that) along with one of the better, if down played, soundtracks from the Vietnam Era. So it certainly has the music win.

And it's Gibson kind of hamming it up and doing a slightly saner version of his Lethal Weapon self... if oddly pacifistic. And RDJR, fresh out of rehab, proving to the world that he is actually capable of being a great actor when he is sober.

What you have is kind of an action movie without a lot of violence, set in the middle of a war zone, and based off of one of our intelligence black eyes in a way that doesn't take it too seriously, isn't heavy-handed or pretentious, masks any preachiness in a fun story, and really gets the point across without having to be Alan Alda at his worst.

Plus, it's a movie about skullduggery that doesn't resort to the Mission:Impossible/James Bond high action tropes. So, in a way, it's kind of a spy movie done right and... turned into a comedy.
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10/10
An Honest Review
23 January 2020
Now look at this, someone made the Handmaid's Tale into something watchable. You know what the difference between this and the series is?

I'll give you a hint it's two things... do you have it yet?

Time and story. The TV show has FAR too many episodes, and each is far too long to tell a compelling story. The 1990 HBO version is only about 100 minutes. It's not dragged out to the point where it is filled to overflowing with, well, with filler. It delivers a clean and concise story that didn't spare a cut. And because of that it works.

But.... it also has Faye Dunaway, and it has Natasha Richardson, and it has Robert Duvall, and it has Aidan Quinn... and those are all people that everyone would be honored to cast, and they were certainly people that anyone would be thrilled to cast back in 1990.

So, what you have is a clean script that is void of unnecessary filler (and in the case of the TV series, free of painfully long unnecessary filler) and that script is acted out by some of the best people in the industry.

You can't ask for more.
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10/10
An Honest Review
23 January 2020
We had HBO when I was a kid, and a television with cable in the basement... and kids love basements. Time makes no sense in a basement. It's a totally different world down there and, with HBO and that whole latchkey thing, you could be down there into the early hours of the morning watching wonderful trash.

And this is really wonderful trash.

I mean, it IS a Roger Corman film, and those are known for being cheap B-movie fair of the most entertaining quality. Far better than Troma trash that never really seems to have actual talent.

But, this, well, it was 1990 and it had John Hurt, Raul Julia, Bridget Fonda, and Jason Patrick in it and that already felt like it was seriously pushing the boundaries of what qualifies as a Corman movie. Those are names anyone would be thrilled to cast.

And it looked good, OK, it looked a little 90s B, but there are certainly a lot of movies that look worse than this.

It was Frankenstein cast as kind of science-fiction more than horror, black holes and all, and that alone, is intriguing. I mean, when it was written it kind of walked that line and Frankenstein Unbound does a decent job of walking that line as well.

It's part traditional Frankenstein and part alternate reality post apocalyptic Frankenstein with a wild enough plot to keep the viewer entertained no matter how absurd it feels to write that, let alone read it.

It was 1990, honestly it SHOULD have received more of a showing than simply catching it on HBO late one Saturday when USA's Up All Night was showing something absolutely pathetic. It should have been a little more prime time, it is certainly good enough to carry that weight.
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Wicked City (1987)
10/10
An Honest Review
20 January 2020
There is enough back story to have made this into a cool quasi MIB supernatural series.

Instead what we got was a movie with a perverted little Yoda style sensi that was enjoyable enough to watch.

The problem was it all came and went too fast and it felt rushed and unfortunately in a way that leaves you wanting to explore that odd little universe more.
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Almost Famous (2000)
10/10
An Honest Review
20 January 2020
You see a lot of people here calling this one of their favorite movies. It's certainly one of mine. But, twenty years after I've found myself wondering if it's the movie that I like or if it's the music.

I mean, it references Lester bangs, and he is played by Hoffman. And it is a Crowe film. But it's about Rolling Stone when Rolling Stone was important and not the hallow shadow of it's former self.

And with that tale about Rolling Stone's former glory it tells the story about Rock and Roll before it caved into New Wave, Disco, and was finally washed away with the auto-tune and drum machine bubblegum pop that needs a mass burning in Soldier Field in the near future.

But look at the sound track, Simon and Garfunkle, The Who, Iggy Pop, Black Sabbath, Rod Stewart, The Allman Brothers, The Seeds, Fleetwood Mac, everyone's favorite Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Cat Stevens, and my favorite Elton John song.

And those are just the highlights. But, that is a playlist, that is an record collection. Most everyone has an album by one of those bands.

And, of course, Still Water is a place savor for the Allman Brothers and in some cases it's so obvious it hurts.

So, is it one of my favorite films? Twenty years on do I really love this film or do I love the soundtrack? Do I love the era it portrays when Rock was still relevant and the Rolling Stone still meant something?

Honestly I don't know... because, at the end of the day, I do really love this movie. I mean, Frances McDormand is in it... but honestly, I think I just love the music a little more.

Fortunately, I am Gen-X, I grew up with Pearl Jam and Nirvana and Green Day. I grew up with grunge and punk and I thank God every day that I turn on the radio that I had worthy bands to follow and record stores were still a part of my life.

I'd hate to be my wife's age. I'd hate to be a Millennial. I'd hate to be Gen-Z... but a big part of me would have loved to be a Boomer, would have loved to be my father's age, even with all the problems, just because they got experience all that music when it was still new, still fresh, and the musicians were still in their prime and preforming at the top of their games.

So, yeah, I love the movie but I like the music a heck of a lot more.
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Hustlers (2019)
1/10
An Honest Review
19 January 2020
Don't believe the hype, right? If I had to pinpoint what I found so bad about the film it would have to be the execution of this particular style of film.

Narrations have been a Hollywood trope, and lately the narrative style has been reserved for the Docudramas, the based on a true story fair. In some cases, like the Wolf of Wallstreet, the narrative style is a success.

But in order for it to be a success, the narrator has to be charismatic, they have to be likable, they have to be fun, they have to have some real personality behind them.

In this case the narrative style was flat and kind of boring. And that made the film flat and kind of boring, and that was made worse by the fact that there were some very good actresses in the film who were shoved aside by the flat narration and were robbed from the opportunity to actually salvage the film.

But let's be honest, all of that had to do with the fact that Jennifer Lopez was getting top billing and Constance Wu was the narrator for... unbelievably horrible casting reasons.

They needed to find a way to shuffle around J.Lo's lack of acting prowess and decided that a narrative style would play best... unfortunately they gave the job to Wu, and that lacked charisma enough to actually carry the film.

And mind you they did that with a cast that included Julia Stiles and Lili Reinhart, both of which COULD have actually carried the weight.
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Long Shot (2019)
10/10
An Honest Review
18 January 2020
What I hate about the political people is that the right is dissing this because of the way it starts out and the environmental policies at the heart of the campaign... and the Left is saying how horrible it is because a Republican was Black, and had a point, and was still a good person.

So, once more we have a film that you are not supposed to like because meh politics... but at least it's a film that both sides say you should hate. I guess that is progress.

Other than that, Boyz 2 Men, got the biggest laugh out of me, which was kind of shocking given that this is a movie that is supposed to be a stupid and pointless comedy.

And it is, and it's not the best stupid and pointless comedy out there, but, hey, these are throw away movies designed for mindless fun and that is how this film bills itself. It's supposed to be vulgar and hysterical and it is.

And, once more, if you are not watching this to see a mindless and vulgar comedy... I don't know what you expected to see.

The only real draw back is that Theron and Jackson kind of come across as the two funniest people, on a screen with Seth Rogen who was the comedian of the bunch... and kind of felt like he phoned this one in. But, other than that, you get exactly what you expect from it.
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Toy Story 4 (2019)
10/10
An Honest Review
14 January 2020
I THOUGHT I saw Toy Story 2, I know I didn't see Toy Story 3, and, honestly, that doesn't matter.

What matters is that parts of 4 are HYSTERICALLY CREEPY, not in the child inappropriate kind of way, but still creepy enough to add a decent amount of humor for adults that sit down and watch it.

So, it looks like we are getting back to the 80s and 90s where cartoons add things for parents and not just wine moms, single cat owning aunties, and children. There are actual jokes here that adults in the room will be entertained by, and that is all I ask for in a children's cartoon, throw something in it for the people that have to take their kids out to see it so it doesn't feel as much like a chore.
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Good Boys (II) (2019)
10/10
An Honest Review
14 January 2020
OK, I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting much and, after seeing the spots on talk shows, I was expecting something far raunchier and with far less sentimentality and heart.

The good news is that I was wrong. My expectations were subverted... and not in the Johnson The Last Jedi, we are going to subvert expectations by not making a genre film kind of way... but in the wow, this has a little more depth than expected kind of way.

No, no, no, no, no... don't let that ruin it for you. Trust me, if it was a really deep film, I'd be giving it 1 star out of 10 for false advertisement reasons alone.

It was still sufficiently raunchy, low brow, and vulgar enough to entertain as advertised. It was as advertised.

But, it also had a cuter more innocent story that went along with the sleazy hysterical humor. A story that is actually kind of moving given what you are watching. A story that is actually very moving given how it was advertised... given the genre that it was in... given the highly offensive humor that MOST of us absolutely love.

And whomever edited it, had their head on their shoulders. Watching the cut scenes alone are enough to show you how Good Boys could have gone wrong, by running too long with jokes that weren't as funny, had the deleted scenes been left in.
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10/10
An Honest Review
14 January 2020
Part of me wants to pretend that I couldn't find the paper thin plot of the film and rag on it for a complete and total lack of story... but I could follow what little of a plot there was so that would be kind of disingenuous.

Not only that, but it would also be pretending that I didn't know what kind of movie this was when I sat down with my wife to watch it. And, honestly, I can't stand the reviews that take a John Wick film and pretend that they expected something like Chinatown walking in.

You know the ones I'm talking about, those reviews that lament the fact that they got a brainless action movie when they sat down to watch a brainless action movie.

If I said "I'm not that deep" I'd be giving them too much credit. So rather than saying that, I'm going to say that, when I sat down to watch it, I didn't lie to myself and pretend it was going to be anything more than a John Wick film.

What you have is sleek, beautifully choreographed action brought to you in the most brutal of ways and delivered in a form that requires you to suspend your disbelief because it is just the right amount of totally unrealistic.

Does it have a plot? Yeah, but not really. It has just enough of a plot to make a loose story and not so much that it would get in the way of what was promised to be carnage candy.

And, honestly, carnage candy is the promise that the John Wick people gave us and nothing more... and each installment of the franchise delivers on that promise. It never, ever, claims that it is anything more than an action film, and it never, ever pretends to be anything deeper.

It isn't a great film. It never claims to be. But it is a great action film, so you have to take it for what it is.
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10/10
An Honest Review
14 January 2020
Yeah, it's not the best movie. It could actually be a lot better... but it is entertaining as all.... heck?

Even if you aren't hip to the whole skater thing, this is a seriously fun movie to watch in the cheap 80s action/adventure kind of way. It has a compelling enough police drama vide, even if most of the action is centered around skateboarding... which is also fun to watch.

I honestly think a lot of the distaste comes from the fact that it is capitalizing on what was, in the 80s, seen as a passing fad.

But the story is still solid for what it is. It has a good message about family ties. It has actual character growth. The story is something that Hollywood has forgotten to do lately, make a compelling narrative. But this somehow manages to accomplish that and still, you know, exploit the skater phenomenon that was sweeping the nation at the time.
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ThunderCats Roar (2020– )
1/10
An Honest Review
13 January 2020
Well, this is toxically anti male. Apparently it exists to make Lino-o look like an idiot and the moral of the first two episodes are that courage, risk taking, action, and adventure are all evil and bad

Lion-O wants to explore a new world and that makes him an selfish evil fool... because exploration takes courage and a sense of adventure and those are stereotypical male traits and thus evil.

And they only get out of the pickle because of pure luck and and a sword that thinks for itself

Really, honestly, its made to teach little boys that they are evil and courage is bad

Not worth watching
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Airborne (1993)
10/10
An Honest Review
13 January 2020
It hits every trope. It's the movie of an out of place kid that has to win over the people in the new city and in the process win the girl.

We have seen this before. We saw it in Hocus Pocus, we saw it in Side Out, in North Shore, in Rad, in Thrashin, we saw it in a thousand other films that faithfully honor the trope.

And a trope filled film bursting with the cliches of the genera isn't exactly a bad thing. After all, sometimes you just want mindless fun with the guarantee of a happy ending and little else.

This film delivers on that... and references Nintendo Hockey, possibly the best sports game ever.
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Side Out (1990)
10/10
An Honest Review
12 January 2020
Sooooo many people are giving this an instant classic status in the reviews that I think if Hollywood were smart (and we all know it's not) that they would invest in another Volleyball movie.

Don't worry, I don't think this is an instant classic.

But I do think it is a fun and entertaining B-movie. And I can see the volleyball thing. I grew up in a Podunk, backwater, destroyed by NAFTA, factory town in the Midwest and among kids...Volleyball and Ultimate Frisbee were pretty big. So was disc golf.

Volleyball was actually so big, we even had a bar designed around it... no BS, but you had to have something to play, right? All the Sandlots were occupied by children, football was too big and organized to be a go to pick up... Volleyball you only need 4 people, easy to round up.

So the whole thesis that there is a kid from the Midwest that didn't know how to play Volleyball... not buying it. I'll believe he's not used to the sand, that's about it.

But you know Hollywood. They have the impression that the Midwest is Chicago.... and idiots that can only recognize corn and the children that live in it.

Anyway, take movies like "Over the Top,"movies like "Aireborne" "Karate Kid" movies about the kid out of water that arrives in a new place and wins people over because of his skill at... whatever... and you have this.

Or at least you have half of it. The other half is an extended version of the Top Gun volleyball scene, with worse music.
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Kid (1990)
10/10
An Honest Review
12 January 2020
When I was 10, this had just come out, probably straight to video and it was honestly sitting there on the shelves screaming at me from the top of it's lungs.

I mean, pretty blond, dude on a duster with a shotgun... my ten-year-old mind couldn't get past that and the title "Kid."

You put it all together, in a child that absolutely loved "Young Guns" and "Red Dawn" and.... it had to be magic right?

But it was one of the few movies that my dad (who despised censorship no matter how old the person you were censoring was) vetoed. And he gave it the worst possible veto he could give it. He looked down, so he could see my big, pleading, blue ten-year-old eyes and rested his had on my shoulder and said: "No, that's gonna suck."

And when I finally got around to watching it, I remembered my father's words, and my childlike associations with far better films, and I sat down to watch it and....

.... boy was my father right. It was so very bad, so unforgivably bad, so absolutely horrible that you kind of had to love it on principal.

Not the so bad it's good kind of film, but the train wreck that is still entertaining because it's a train wreck. It was carnage candy... but it was carnage candy that I just couldn't look away from.

It is FAR from the worst movie ever made, but it is certainly in that bad movie genre and, honestly, it is an entertaining watch nonetheless. Somehow, the bad movie over came everything and became... watchable and enjoyable.

I'm not sure how, but there you have it. It's a ridiculous revenge movie that is worth watching on a rainy day.
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Jailbait (1993 Video)
10/10
An Honest Review
12 January 2020
This is one of those movies that really, honestly, and genuinely attempts to make a statement about something that, at least the writer, thought was important and needed to be said. Because of that, when you watch it, you do get the feeling that there was an honest to god attempt at something bigger. There was real emotion and heartfelt sincerity behind it.

So I'm giving it 10 out of 10 for effort. They wanted to say something about the horrors of life on the streets and on the street corners and they gave it their best shot. There is no way I can nay say that and feel comfortable. There was an attempt here, and you can tell.

But it suffers from low production values, and some of the actors saw it as a job, a paycheck, instead of something that could further their career, and the direction was... just god awful.

So, what you have here is a straight to video film with a script that honestly tries, and a director and producers that didn't cared less than the screen writers.
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Kuffs (1992)
10/10
An Honest Review
12 January 2020
Yeah, the humor in this is kind of off-beat, at least a lot of the jokes in it are not what you see in many movies like this. It kind of walks the line between being an honest action film, and almost, I don't know, maybe a Zucker film with how some of the humor sits.

And the humor is probably why it wasn't very well received. I'm not complaining, I actually liked it, but I can see where a lot of people were put off by it. Kind of maybe expecting Lethal Weapon.

Don't expect Lethal Weapon, and don't expect Naked Gun. Kind of expect a 90s hybrid that encompasses that little evolution point between the late 80s cinematic tropes and the 90s cinematic tropes.

A weird and enjoyable hybrid for the time, and for the genre.
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Deputy (2020– )
1/10
An Honest Review
9 January 2020
Yeah, I was kind of thinking Justified, maybe a hipper Walker, Longmire in LA.

Instead I got ultra Woke politics screamed at me as loud as it could manage. So I'm tuning out, I am sick and tired of my entertainment lecturing me in the most pretentious and condescending ways possible.

So, like all the others, most of which are failing, I'm going to chose to NOT watch it, and give my time to something that doesn't insult people that don't agree with the purity tests of the far left.

Instead, I'm going to watch something politics free and be entertained rather than lectured.
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Cadillac Man (1990)
10/10
An Honest Review
8 January 2020
I just got done showing it to my wife... and did the same thing that my dad did to me, where I told her that it was going to start off kind of slow and then really pick up out of the clear blue sky.

And of course she was born in 91, had never heard of this particular Williams gem, and was kind of shocked when it hit.

It had the same effect where she did what I did and questioned it's comedic credentials... and then started laughing out loud when it hit the high gear.

And that is the way I think everyone should watch it, come in completely fresh without knowing the plot and let it unfold, not because it has a Usual Suspects twist to it, but rather because it's so much better if you don't know what you are watching ahead of time.

But, if you are reading this, you already know it's a comedy and you already know what is coming, because you probably read the plot synopsis. If that's the case, sit down and watch it with a friend that has never heard of it and watch how they react to everything. It's almost as good.
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