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Holey Moley (2019– )
Wipeout fans, you'll be put to sleep. Just like real golf!
21 June 2019
Holey Moley indeed: whoever greenlit this show must've lost a golf bet with Producer/NBA golfer/show star Stephan Curry. This takes the fun of miniature golf, removes that, infuses it with the pacing of watching real PGA golf, lets co-host Rob Riggle try to riff on the spot (no. Just no.), spends lengthy time providing wholly unnecessary backstory on contestants (one of which is an attractive television show office aid-wonder which show she works on and got lassoed in to be a last-minute player? Maybe this one?) avoid showing you interesting attempts of a putt on interesting holes (rather a 5 second highlight will work instead) and dress contestants in lumberjack outfits and punks and unicorn onesies and have professional LPGA golfers attempt to climb a baby oil-slicked hill course in their golf skirts, camera squarely pointed at their bums as they climb and slip back down, legs first. I mean, wow. I've seen In-and-Out drive-thru lines move faster than this show. The dead air is palpable. The holes are as tepid as real ones (only supersized-wow, double windmill you have to dodge the slow blades!), and you find yourself turning it off and heading for the 19th hole bar to drink the fact away you just lost 20 minutes of your life, despite it ran for 54 and you bailed that quick. This is just embarrassing-and that's saying something when you've got the Bachelor shows on this channel-they're outright Emmy winners in comparison to this hackneyed attempt. Wipeout it is not. Golf, it is not. Mini-golf, yes, but only a little. Just change the channel-it's likely going to be cancelled before it's short summer run anyways.
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Forget everything you know.
26 April 2019
Because this movie puts everything on its ear. It's a love letter to ten years for all the fans; it's funny, it's sad, it's family, it's sacrifice, it is everything a superhero team film can ever be. There will never EVER be a film like this made ever again. Not this good. Not this memorable. And not this powerful. It is a culmination of many moving parts that finally work as a perfect clock. And it took over a decade to pull it off. You will be moved. You will cheer. And so help you if you don't even tear up. We. ARE. Groot.
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The comedy that defines the term "Summer Fun".
18 May 2007
If you asked a handful of people of varying ages in America, chances are you'd get about 8 out of 10 knowing who he is. They may not know Rowan's real name, but they know the character.

The sad part about this film is that it's absolutely wonderful, and most people in America aren't going to see it because it's rated "PG". Not a dirty gag, foul word, or joke about someone's junk to be found. And the really amazing part is that it's half comedy, half gorgeous scenery surrounding it. It mocks the Hollywood standard, it has melodious music, it's masterfully filmed, and all the while you just find yourself going "Oh, that Bean." *puts fists on hips*

I can't honestly say I've seen a film this good, this funny, this... pure that can make anyone laugh and find themselves feeling charmed after having seen it. Emma De Caunes stole my heart, Max Baldry is a kid that anyone his age can relate to, and Defoe actually pulls out a great, over-the-top performance without even uttering a four-letter word that he's so very good at snarling out.

You know what? Shame on us America. That we need the big bang, the flatulence, and the double entendre to amuse our soured idea of comedy. What is so wrong with having a character like Bean, a performance like Atkinson's, that we can't find that part of us that wasn't soured on tasteless "humor" but just absorb and let out a barrel-chested sigh of satisfaction after a hearty laugh from a genuine, clever clean joke or visual gag?

We'll go on, with our Jackasses and Scary Movie XII and we'll forget about them five minutes after we've left the theater, but darnit, it's high time a movie like Mr. Bean's Holiday came along. And I for one would pay money to see this again, even if the American know-it-alls of Hollywood think it's better suited in a death slot in September, to be forgotten, sandwiched between sequel after sequel and the banality of teen slasher flicks acted by twenty-somethings whose genre should have died off years ago.

If what Atkinson says is true, that this is the last time Bean will ever appear, then he's gone out on the highest note you could ever bestow on a character so beloved. Shine on Bean, and ride off into that sunset, you crazy, wonderful fella you. And thanks for all the laughs.

... But where's Teddy?
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Arrested Development: S.O.B.s (2006)
Season 3, Episode 9
Best middle finger ever given on television. Period.
20 March 2007
...I mean that metaphorically, of course.

The episode is rife with subtle jokes that are both self-referential and pointing the finger at critics, fans, and their parent network (FOX) alike.

Using ridiculous ploys to open the show --such as "One of these people... will DIE!" montage showing the characters in quick succession, multiple TV celebrities appearing in the show, and a promised live finale of the episode, this chapter of the Bluths begins by the press all but writing off the Bluths. court. Michael implores his family to tighten their belts and pull out all the stops to ensure their survival past the next few weeks (as the show was on the bubble of being canceled in a few weeks). A prompt immediately warns viewers to put on their 3D glasses, whereupon Gob throws a tomato at the camera. George Sr. suggests a "Save our Bluths" rally ("" appears on screen). Michael concedes that it's sad, but it's come to begging to ensure that the Bluth clan stays afloat (whereupon executive producer and series narrator Ron Howard flat-out tells viewers "Please, tell your friends about this show").

Even the title's episode "S.O.B.s" has a triple meaning: a message possibly to the network's executives for canceling the show, "sobs" (a sad state of affairs that such an intelligent show is being canceled), and the acronym itself for "Save Our Bluths"-- again, another plea for fans to recruit even more fans.

References to cable networks Showtime and HBO are made in sly fashion (as both networks were rumored to be in a war to lure the show to their programming lineup-- Showtime in fact had openly stated they would program 26 new episodes if series Mitch Hurwitz would sign off on it-- sadly, he didn't, fed up with dealing with the stress and network executive bull he'd accumulated over the past few years), in addition to references to the show's quick wit, self-references, complicated themes that are quickly resolved, running gags,and non-relatable characters that critics had stated about the show's formula ("If I may take off my acting pants and pull my analrapist stocking over my head", a spoken by Tobias Funke is one such line uttered, as it was a word he had used combining "analyst" and "therapist" to describe his career).

The show does fulfill every one of it's promises, giving guest stars, a dead character (a minor one-shot character who was quickly exposed as the soon-to-be victim long before it occurred), and a live ending, ensuring that it would end up as arguably one of the best episodes ever of the show's three-season run, and of most if not all sitcoms.
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Home Movies: Bye, Bye Greasy (2004)
Season 4, Episode 2
I'll Race To Feel the Wind On My Face
15 June 2006
Brandon's been stuck with the task of putting on the school musical of the renowned "Bye-Bye Greasy". Naturally, everyone wants in on the roles available. Except for McGuirk, that is... until Brendon tells him he can drive his car on-stage for his role-- which turns out to be one of the coach's unfulfilled fantasies-- to drive a car in a building. Through a batch of tryouts, some in the theater, one by bully Shannon who sneaks into Brandon's room to "convince" him he's perfect for the lead role, the cast is assembled. And that's when things go wrong. Shannon's suspended, Paula paints an out-of-season background, and Melissa's screaming for someone to stab her with her Epi-Pen to prevent kiwi poisoning. And that's just getting warmed up.

This episode, next to "The Birthday Party", probably contains Jon McGuirk's most genuine, soul-reaching moment-- performing "I'll Race", trapped behind his car's broken window that won't roll down. The pain of not being heard combined with the genuine gusto he exudes performing it makes for one of the shining moments of Season Four.

Just about every regular gets a moment or two in this episode, and provides an opportunity for a great ensemble chapter in the series.
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